I often ask my clients, “What are you noticing inside yourself in this very moment?” I believe this inquiry yields wonderful information that can help us know ourselves, get to the heart of the matter, and ultimately help us to let go of anxiety, sadness, and feeling powerless.

Many people, myself included, have grown up with lots of beliefs and ideas about how things should be. Particularly beliefs about ourselves: “I should be generous.” “I should not speak in anger.” “I should make sure not to offend anyone.” Often those beliefs have us denying parts of ourselves – for example the part that resents obligation, the part that is angry, the part that has needs of its own. Denying those parts causes us problems in the long run, because the parts don’t disappear. They just go underground; they hide out inside us. They may come out in uncontrolled bursts when the pressure gets too great; they may cause physical issues like stomach aches or tight shoulders; they may exhaust us with the effort of keeping them buried.

But they are there. They’re there in this very moment. So when you’re talking about, let’s say, some event at work, I’ll invite you to notice what’s happening inside you as you share. Maybe you notice your heart beating. Maybe you notice your stomach is tight. Maybe you notice excitement, or tears. Okay, yes, now we’re getting to something true. Your body doesn’t lie the way your brain can (also check out Battle Royale: Brain v Stomach).

Noticing what’s happening in this very moment is a way of seeing YOURSELF. In this way we reinforce your value: you are worth seeing. We reinforce your wisdom: deep down you have some answers. We reinforce your agency: you have the power to notice and to name what you notice. You have the power to tell your truth.

What do you notice right now, having read all that?

Love,
Jonna