Client D (M34) has a young son, and in session D often shares about experiences, frustrations, and successes as a father. Sometimes we talk about D’s own experiences as a child and how that affects his feelings about his son. Recently D was really upset with something his son had done.

Very much upset!

To the point that I wondered if there was something from D’s childhood that was kinda secretly affecting him right now. As D started thinking back and talking about his own childhood, he started tearing up. Sometimes clients feel uncomfortable being sad (totally understandable), but this time D seemed to be okay with it. The sadness got bigger, like a wave rising, and still D stayed with it.

There was silence in the room except for D’s crying. D was letting himself feel some deep grief for what he went through as a young boy, letting himself express that grief. My job in that moment was to be his silent companion, to simply be with him, bearing witness and offering silent reassurance that he is not alone. The moment felt very tender, very important, almost sacred.

After about 2 minutes, D’s crying started to die down. After 3 minutes he was quiet and thoughtful. After another minute I gently checked in with him. He said he felt lighter, felt some inner relief that he couldn’t quite name, but that he definitely felt. (This makes perfect sense to me. Sometimes transformative experiences are bigger than words.).

Yes, it was “uncomfortable” to let that grief out, but it loosened and freed something within him. I was so grateful to be able to support him.