In my article Connecting Across Different Communication Styles in Business I mentioned the value of developing flexibility – the ability to respond and adapt to the wide variety of interactions and demands in the workplace.
Here are some tips for how to practice and develop your flexibility.
1. Recognize that it might feel uncomfortable and give yourself grace. Having all kinds of demands coming at you, in business and in life in general – unpredictable, inconsistent demands of all kinds – can feel like you’re a soccer goalie having to defend against shot after shot. It takes focus and energy, may feel exhausting or even scary. It’s okay to acknowledge that as you give yourself a little inner-pep talk and inner-hug. “Wow, Self, this is hard. There’s a lot coming at me right now. I’m a little bit freaking out.” “It’s okay, Self, we’ll figure it out. I believe in you. Deep breath. You got this.”
2. Practice “feeling uncomfortable.” Give yourself challenges throughout the week to practice stepping outside your comfort zone just a little bit. Things like:
– Give the cashier a compliment.
– Ask the person in the elevator how their day is going (start a conversation with a stranger).
– Wave to passing cars with a big smile on your face; see if you can get someone to wave back.
– Call up someone in your life and tell them how much you care for them.
– Stand on the street and sing a song out loud to passers-by.
– Apologize with sincerity.
Getting used to that discomfort builds your ability to stay focused and calm during challenging moments.
3. Do the opposite. Take the opportunity to do the opposite of what you were planning to do. Take a new route to work, eat breakfast for dinner or dinner for breakfast. Surprising yourself, mixing things up, both stimulates your brain in new ways and gives your practice taking in the unexpected.
4. Reframe disruptions and inconveniences. Instead of thinking of them as problems, think of them as surprising gifts (from the universe, from God, from random chance). The gift is the opportunity to practice flexibility!
5. Notice and honor your need for mental rest. When your brain gets tired or overwhelmed, give yourself a break. A small rest can help you replenish yourself and bring fresh perspectives and new energy.
6. Explore creativity. Engaging in a creative activity like painting, drawing, building things out of sticks, creative improvisation, making music, or dancing is a great way to free up your brain to just notice, respond, and engage organically. Skill has no place in this endeavor! It’s not about being skilled, it’s about engaging in creativity. The process is the focus, not the outcome. (Check out my articles about developing creativity with ease here and here).
7. Get support, take a class, work with a group. Learning a new skill or engaging in group activities or group play puts you in a new environment with new challenges. It’s a great way to practice changing things up.
As you continue to develop your flexibility and feel more comfortable with discomfort, you’ll find it easier to respond calmly when business and life throws you a curve ball!
