In my earlier article What is a Therapy Session Like? I described a bit about how I work with clients and what kind of process you can expect in sessions: how we explore together, how I help you unpack your challenges, and how I encourage noticing emotions and physical sensations. So where does all that activity get us? What’s the purpose?
For most of my clients, therapy is both challenging and rewarding.
Challenges of therapy
A metaphor I use is how therapy is like cleaning out that overstuffed closet. You know, the hall closet that’s got all your old winter coats, old board games, long forgotten exercise equipment, old holiday decorations, your H.R. Pufnstuf cosplay suit (I remember!). What do we do first when we want to organize the closet? We pull everything out. And there it is – all our stuff, years and years of it, now strewn around the room. A bit of chaos!
Therapy is kind of like that as we begin unpacking. We’ve pulled out a bunch of meaningful stuff. It can sometimes feel intense. There is a risk that you will, for a time, have uncomfortable feelings of sadness, guilt, anxiety, anger, frustration, loneliness, helplessness, or other negative feelings. You may recall unpleasant memories. These feelings or memories may bother you while you’re at work or in school. In addition, some people in the community may mistakenly think negatively about someone in therapy. Also, as you begin to experience changes in yourself, you may start to change how you approach your relationships, and this could cause friction with people important to you. Sometimes, too, your problems may temporarily worsen after the beginning of treatment. Most of these risks are to be expected when people are making important changes in their lives. Change can feel uncomfortable.
Rewards of therapy
With the diligent work described above can come some profound rewards. I mentioned that as we talk, I’m reflecting back to you what I’m hearing and seeing. This allows you to see and know yourself better – like I’m holding up a mirror for you to see yourself. You can start to see all the items from the closet.
With our hall closet, the next step would be to start sorting through, deciding what to keep and what to discard or give away. We keep what we love and what helps us, we discard what we no longer need. Eventually: organization, ease, and peace. Therapy can be the same. We start to sort through.
By talking it out, hard things can feel easier. Being heard can give you the felt experience that you matter (spoiler, you matter!). Expressing your feelings can bring feelings of relief and ease. Learning to notice your body sensations can help you identify your needs, which can help you both protect yourself in the world and identify rewarding paths for yourself. In this way therapy can help lift depressed moods; alleviate fear, anger, and anxiety; boost and reinforce self-esteem; resolve stuck feelings and thoughts; improve functioning, problem solving, and coping abilities; clarify personal goals and values; increase satisfaction in your life and your relationships; and ignite your creativity. You may start to trust yourself more, appreciate yourself more, feel more at home in your body, and feel more ease in your relationships and as you move through the world.
Finally, I do not take on clients I do not think I can help, so I approach our relationship with optimism about your possibilities. I see you as vast, powerful, and creative (and it’s totally fine if you disagree with me at the moment!).
I welcome your inquiries and reflections.
