Spoiler Alert! Major plot points revealed. Pixar’s new movie, Elio, is about a boy who ventures into outer space, meeting aliens and getting into a ‘good vs. evil’ battle to save his alien friends’ world. What can epic battles against violent warlords have to teach us about vulnerability?
Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable can feel soooo scary. Allowing someone else to see our “weakness” can feel agonizing. I think we’ve all had experiences in life where we were ridiculed, punished, put down, outcast for something. We felt alone and deeply wounded, and we vowed (consciously or unconsciously) to never let that happen again. We built a little wall. We put on some armor.
In the movie, Elio meets Glordon, a young prince from planet Hylurg, who looks like a cute, squishy grub worm, and they hit it off. Their friendship allows them to share secrets with each other that feel too scary to say to others. Right from the start Glordon shares that where he’s from, his grub-worm-like species all wear huge, fearsome armor, lest anyone realize how small, soft, and vulnerable they really are. Glordon is coming to the age where he’s supposed to don his armor and follow in his father’s warlord footsteps, but he doesn’t want to. He doesn’t want to become a warlord, but he can’t admit this to his dad. Too scary to be vulnerable.
Skipping ahead, after much adventure and plot, Glordon ends up seemingly dead. Elio brings him back to his father, the angry warlord Lord Grigon, and this is where we see a beautiful and touching scene of vulnerability. Understandably, Grigon is overcome and distraught at the sight of his son’s lifeless body. In agony, he rips off his giant armor suit, revealing his own small, tender grub worm body. Though he had terrorized them, Elio’s alien friends show support and warmth toward Grigon; they are all moved by his emotion and vulnerability. And I felt it too. I felt Grigon’s raw sadness in my heart, and his vulnerability sparked my compassion for him.
Of course we must protect ourselves in life, and total vulnerability at all times is not sustainable or safe. But keeping our armor and walls up is exhausting and keeps us feeling alone and disconnected. When we can find those times and find the courage to be vulnerable and let someone else witness our own soft grub-worm emotions, needs, or fears, we allow for the possibility of compassion, closeness, understanding, and support. We allow ourselves the deep relief and rest of not having to maintain our walls and armor.
Vulnerability takes courage. Finding a safe space to explore letting down our armor and walls is a great way to start, and I’m here to support your journey.
Love,
Jonna
