How many of us “live in fear”? Fear of not living up to potential, or of letting others down. Fear of not being productive, which means we’re really a “bad” person. Fear of “getting caught” or being rejected or not fitting in. We’d better “act right” or else!

Often these fears come from our experiences growing up. Certain beliefs get instilled in childhood – beliefs about what’s allowed vs. not allowed, productivity and our worth, who we are “supposed to be.” So it’s understandable that into adulthood we may be carrying a lot of unconscious fear that guides our lives. Fear is our motivator. (Which also brings in fear of losing the fear. “If I’m not motivated by fear, will I then just give up? Will I cease to do anything? Will I die?”).

But what if we could move toward a different motivator? Things like gratitude and excitement, noticing positive feelings and experiences, allowing ourselves to be ourselves, for real. What if you could rest, and people still loved you? What if you could tell your truth, and even if people didn’t agree, you were still okay?

In the therapy room we start to experiment with telling that truth, allowing the rest, naming the fear and the dislike of the fear, and having an ACTUAL EXPERIENCE that you are intact, okay, the world did not end.

A client of mine has been finding his voice, finally telling his truth, and sharing boldly in the room. He recently said, “I don’t want this room to be the only place I feel safe sharing my voice.” Okay! Great! That’s a great goal and totally doable. That’s exactly the point.

We start by telling the truth in the room, having a new experience of ourselves in the room. We allow ourselves to get used to that and feel more confident with it. Then we can begin to expand it out to other areas of our life. We learn and grow and begin to live authentically, with the confidence of knowing that we can tell the truth even if others disagree, motivated by our true values, our true joy.

In support,
Love, Jonna